daily spiritual reflection - apr. 16

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY: 

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit,

a broken and contrite heart,

you, God, will not despise.

--Psalm 51:16-17

THOUGHT: When I was younger, when I made my mom or brother mad, I used to be too ashamed to actually apologize, too proud to actually admit I had made a mistake. But then I'd try to make up for it by 'being better next time' or by doing something extra special for my mom, or getting back at my brother to prove myself. But all along what would have meant the most was me simply asking for forgiveness, and being humble enough to expose how sorry i felt.

I think that this psalm shows us that the heart of relationship (if life with God is the epitome of relationship itself) is actually that moment of sharing apology. Of being vulnerable, admitting our wrongs and our mistakes and our baggage and doing that together with someone else. Because when we both meet each other on those terms, it seems like we can finally see into each others' broken hearts and say sorry-- and out of the depths of our hearts, love and forgive and offer grace where we can both feel and see a need. We have nothing left to lose-- no pride or glory or power-- and in that space, we can actually be equals and love fully.

The greatest sacrifice isn't proving that we are right, it isn't even making these grand amends to prove our love or our own goodness and value. It isn't in power dynamics or authority or anything else. The greatest sacrifice, the one that brings delight and closeness, is the 'broken and contrite heart' brought together.

CHALLENGE:  Meet someone, this week, in their apology to you, in their broken-heartedness and hurt. Or, if the case may be, ask to be met by another in your own contrite, broken heart. Take the time to experience the depth of a relationship that uses love and grace to make two broken people offer each other newness and wholeness.

Or, if you feel like this Psalmist, and feel that what is needed in your life is a restoration of that closeness with this same God, or a better understanding of how he is sorry for how you are hurting and how he loves and accepts your heart: offer a broken and contrite spirit to God, and ask for him to pick you up, dust you off, and give you a big hug so that your heart can be made whole and new and joy can be restored.